Do you really want to give up single life?


January 26, 2016

OK readers, back to preparation. There are all types of singles; the single never married, the single separated, the single divorced, the single widowed, the single sold out and the single single. You decide which one you are. But your singleness is a gift, which you must cherish and unwrap day by day to reveal your intrinsic value.

Perhaps the greatest temptation in singleness is to assume marriage will meet your unmet needs, solve your weaknesses, organise your lives and unleash your gifts. That is far from the solution. In Corinthians 7, Paul of the bible makes marriage out to be a kind of problematic Plan B of Christian life and ministry. Marry if you must, but be warned, following Jesus is not easier when you join yourself to another sinner in a fallen world. Here are some points to consider before getting married.

1. Perhaps you are all dressed up and have nowhere to go.

While marriage may bring joy, help, and relief in certain areas, it immediately multiplies your distractions because you're intimately responsible for this other person, his or her needs, dreams and growth. It's a high calling and a good calling, but a demanding one that will keep you from all kinds of other good things.

Therefore, for the not-yet married, your (temporary) singleness is a gift, it really is. If God leads you to marriage, you may never again know a time like the one you're in right now. A season of singleness is not

merely the minor leagues of marriage, it has the potential to be a unique period of undivided devotion to Christ and undistracted ministry to others, as well as a time to focus on goals you have set for you, whether they be career goals or academic goals.

2. Avoid trading marital distractions for other distractions.

Paul may have been right about our freedom from spousal concerns, but in an iPhone, iPad, iPod, whatever iWant world, single people never have trouble finding their share of diversions. In fact, if you are like most persons, you crave diversion and tend to default there, whether it's sports, working out, fancy eating, endless texting, surveying social media or conquering the latest game. You might call it resting, but too often it looks, smells, and sounds a lot like you're wasting your singleness.

3. Say 'Yes' to the spontaneous.

It's just a fact, marriage murders spontaneity - not entirely, but massively. If you haven't learned this yet, I doubt any of your (formerly spontaneous) friends have gotten married.

One of your greatest gifts as a single person is your 'yes'. Yes to a random phone conversation. Yes to KFC. Yes to stepping in when someone's sick. Yes to a late-night movie, or the special event downtown. Yes to activities at church. You have the unbelievable freedom to say yes when married people can't even ask the question. When the spouse doesn't exist, you can't hurt them with your selfless, impulsive decisions. Be willing to say yes and bless others, even when you don't always feel like it.

I'm not single and perhaps never have been, but I do know that there are many married persons who wish they were single. So before you start sending out your invitation for marriage, think again. Do you want to give all of that up?

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