Helped my friend to cheat on her husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 and I have a very good friend. We have been keeping secrets for each other. We work at the same place and get along very well.

One day, she told me that her husband was having a problem getting an erection and he has gone to doctors, but nothing is happening. I told her that my husband was having a similar problem. He wasn't functioning the way he used to. This woman is much older than I am, but we talked like sisters. She said that she was willing to have sex with another man, because she was longing to have good sex. She asked my opinion and I told her that she shouldn't get involved with another man - she should try and work with her husband. He was in his 60s and he had suffered a heart attack. He was always worried that sex might trigger another one. She said the doctor told him that he should not worry about that.

The doctor told him that he should do moderate exercise and gradually engage in sexual activities again. About six months later, she told me that her husband was not cooperating, and that she had met another man and they engage in explosive sex. This young man wanted to take her on the north coast for a weekend. Her husband would allow her to go, but she wanted me to cover her by going with them. She would tell her husband that we were going and I would get my own room, but she and the man would sleep together. I told her that I would think about it.

Her husband asked me if I would go with his wife because she wanted to take a break, and I said yes. My husband did not know of the dirty plan. We left the Friday afternoon after school was dismissed. We are both teachers. My bag was packed. It was a very wicked thing to do. We went to this all-inclusive hotel. The only time I saw her after we got to the hotel was at the dinner table. She did not come out for breakfast on the Saturday morning. I was there alone, but I enjoyed myself. We had dinner the Saturday night and this girl stayed with that man until we were ready to travel back to Kingston the Sunday evening.

My conscience has bothered me ever since, because I know that her husband loves and cares for her. She told me that she was tired of masturbating and having oral sex. I told her how guilty I felt while I was at the hotel. She said I shouldn't feel guilty because she was the one who was having time with another man.

When we got back to Kingston, I had to lie to her husband. My husband asked me about the weekend and I told him that I enjoyed myself, but I would not go on another trip without him. This woman continued having a relationship with her lover, but has now filed for a divorce. I told her that she should not divorce her husband. She said she wanted to give him up because this new man has asked her to marry him. Sometimes I feel that I should tell her husband what she did.

L.D.

Dear L.D.,

Regardless what you say, or how you would like to excuse yourself, you are just as wicked and iniquitous as your colleague.

The only thing I know that you did right was to encourage this woman to stay with her husband. But you had no right to agree to deceive this man when you knew that you and your friend were going to a hotel for her to spend time with her lover. You should not have gone with them. You lied to your husband, too.

Your friend and you are liars and deceivers. Do you think that by divulging the secret that you have kept for a long time, it will ease your conscience? I doubt it will. I hope that you will never do anything to your husband like what your friend did to hers.

Pastor