Late husband’s friend cursed me for refusing sex

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, but I am a regular reader of your column and I listen to you every night on the radio.

You are my company because my husband has passed, and my children are living on their own. I have tried to call you on the show, but the lines are always busy. I am 49 years old. One of my husband's friends was coming around, but I had to ask him not to come back, because I was not ready to go into a new relationship and all he wanted was sex. I wasn't prepared to have sex with him, so he cursed me, called me a fool and didn't come back. I thought he was a gentleman, but all he wanted was to go to bed with me.

My husband left me living very comfortably. When he died, we only owed $8,000 on the house, so I paid it off after receiving money from his insurance. I did not have to ask the children for any money. My husband did not owe any money on the car. As a friend, I told this man who was coming around these things, so it appears as if he had an aim to get some of the money that I have.

I have put my children's name on my account, so any man who comes around will not get anything. The money that I have is to take care of myself. I also have three grandchildren. My husband's friend who used to visit me, called me and asked me if I did not believe that I should give him a chance. I told him that I would have to be dead and not aware of what is going on. He told me that my 'thing' is going to dry up on me, and then I will have no use. This man is so out of order. There are times that I feel for company, but I don't want that man in my life. I am not ready to go into any relationship.

L.S.

Dear L.S.,

I regret hearing that your husband has passed, but I am pleased to know that he has left you in good shape, so to speak.

You are not broke. The house is debt-free. You have more than enough to take care of yourself. This gentleman who was visiting you has no class. Perhaps he thought that you were a walkover, and that you would foolishly spend your money on him. You were smart enough to tell him not to return to your house. The man is very vulgar. You are a grown woman. He is disrespectful, and that is why he can tell you what will happen to your private parts if you do not go to bed with him.

I know on occasions you would want to go out, so I suggest that you and your girlfriends who are in your age group can go out together and enjoy going to the movies and to see plays. I wish you well. Continue to be careful, and make sure that you attend church.

Pastor