I’m a teen, he’s 63 - Should I continue a relationship with this man?

Dear Pastor,

Happy New Year to you, may all good things come your way this year. I am a teenager and I am involved with a man who is much older than I am. People told him that he should not have such a young girl in his life, and that he is robbing the cradle. He told them that he is very proud of me. He was never married, but he was living with a woman, who robbed him and left him. He does not have children. He has a very nice home and he is in good health, but he is 63 years old.

This man asked my mother to allow me to come to his house to clean and wash for him. My mother asked me if I would go and I told her yes. The first time I went, he had a pile of dirty clothes, and the house was filthy. For a whole day, all I did was to wash his clothes. I went back the following day and cleaned his house. It took me a long time to straighten up everything. I told him that he should buy a washing machine. After working with him for about a month, my brother took him to the store and he bought the washing machine cash, and they installed it.

I found out after assisting him for a while that he could not read well, but I did not take advantage of him. This man and I have become very close. We are lovers, but nobody in my family knows what is going on. He has not told anybody on his side, either. He gives me anything I ask him for. He said that he wants to go into the church, so he wants to know whether I would continue to work with him, or if he should find somebody older to take care of him.

I love this man, but I don't want anybody in my family to know that we have become lovers. Since I am helping him, he is sending me back to school. I want to know how you feel about this relationship. I told him that I will never rob him. I know that my parents would not encourage me to marry him. He told me that he knows that they will never want him in their family. I don't know what to do. Please give me some suggestions.

E.

Dear E.,

You have to learn to trust your parents. Therefore, I suggest that you speak to them about the relationship you are having with this man. You say that both of you are now lovers. It didn't start that way, but that is what it is now. I would suggest that you talk to your mother about the situation in which you have found yourself. I doubt very much that she would tell you that you shouldn't go back to this man's house. She will tell your father what is going on. I just know that the right thing to do is to tell them what has developed between this man and you.

You are still very young; you don't have to consider marriage now. If this man is in a hurry to get married, then you would know for sure that you should leave him alone. You are in school, do your very best there. You need a career, so work hard. I will be happy to know more about your progress, so write to me again.

Pastor