Lying man tried to break up my marriage

Dear Pastor,

I am not living in Jamaica, but I am a Jamaican. My wife is from Mexico.

We have two children, both of whom are doing well, and we are proud of them. I have not been to Jamaica for many years, but I try to keep up with the news. I am trying to give my children a good education, but it is costly.

When I met my wife, she did not speak English well, but now she is very fluent. Some people say that men should not educate women, but I have worked and sent my wife to college. Even when she was pregnant, she was attending college. Our two boys say that I am their role model.

I left Jamaica when I was young. I did everything to get ahead. I used to live in New York, but now I am living in Pennsylvania. Recently, my wife accused me of having an affair. Someone told her that I was always flirting with one of my co-workers. This woman lost her husband and she confided in me. She told me lots of things that she was going through, and so that drew us close together, but no sex was involved.

I told my wife the truth and I gave her permission to talk to the woman. I did not tell her what the woman told me, but she called the woman and asked her if there was anything intimate between us. The woman told her exactly what I told her. Now they are best friends. What disturbs me is, the person who told my wife that I was having an affair was trying to date my wife for a long time. I had to seriously warn him. In fact, I am ashamed to tell you that I didn't just warn him, I threatened him and told him to back off, otherwise I would blow his head off. That is what stopped him from calling her, and he moved out of town.

My wife is also my best friend. When I first met her, I found out that she was a responsible person and we were compatible. So I allowed her to spend my money, and we got married less than a year after we met. But she has her weaknesses and jealousy is one of them. I try not to do anything that would destroy our relationship. She is a good saver; she does not spend money foolishly. I can give her credit for helping me to purchase our home. I told my boys to get married soon after they have met women who they are in love with. We live in a lovely area in a three-bedroom house. When I retire, I will get my pension, and I also have my 401k.

We are hoping to visit Jamaica in 2024. Most of my relatives are in America, but my mother's father is still in Jamaica and is being cared for by the only sister who lives in Jamaica. My grandfather and sister never wanted to leave Jamaica, so we have kept him there and we have been supporting him. I want to wish you a very happy and prosperous new year. I hope to visit your place when I come to Jamaica.

T.J.

Dear T.J.,

I look forward to seeing you when you visit Jamaica. I am glad to know that you are enjoying a good life with your dear wife.

You say she is jealous, but you have been able to deal with that. This man who took false news to your wife should be ashamed of himself. His main purpose in doing so was to get your wife to turn against you, so that he would have been able to become intimate with her. She is indeed a very good woman.

I am also happy to know that you have been putting money in your children's education. You cannot go wrong by doing so. You also trust your spouse. She has shown you that she can be trusted. She handles money well; she is not a spendthrift. Unfortunately, so many Jamaicans have married women who are spendthrifts. These women are in America for years and they cannot make any headway. They get into the big spending, and they buy expensive cars and they live on credit. Your wife is not like that. Both of you have been able to purchase your own home. I wish that other men will learn from you and your wife.

I thank you for writing. Again, I say, whenever you come to Jamaica, I will be glad to meet with you. I wish you the very best my friend.

Pastor