I hate my rapist dad

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am working. I live with my mother and I am her only child. My mother is a helper and she is a Christian. I have come to know my father, but growing up as a child, I did not know him. I used to always wonder why my mother would not tell me about my father.

When I was 16 years old, I met a woman who told me she was my aunt. I told her that I did not believe her. She told me I should tell my mother that I met 'so and so'. When I went home, I told my mother exactly what had happened and my mother broke down and cried. I asked my mother why she was crying. She told me that the lady I met was indeed my aunt whom she has never met.

My father raped my mother and got her pregnant. She never told me about it, but she told her mother after her mother realised that she was pregnant. However, as a Christian, her mother did not encourage her to do an abortion.

The people in the church thought that my mother was careless, but they did not understand, because my mother did not want the man who raped her to go to prison, so he was never reported to the police. He went to America, but he never supported me. My mother and grandmother struggled to send me to school. I am now in a good job and my intention is to go further.

The people my mother worked with have decided to help me to go to college. I am not interested in getting to know my father. My mother told me that looking back, she does not hate him; but Pastor, I hate him because he turned his back on my mother.

I never know my mother to have a man; my mother does not trust men. I used to wonder why she did not allow me to go out with guys, not even beach trips that the church may plan. However, looking at everything now, I understand. This is Christmas and I know what to buy for my grandmother, but it's hard to know what to buy for my mother. My grandmother needs a new radio to listen to your 'Dear Pastor Show', but my mother would like some money.

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

I am thinking of a man whose wife cheated on him. He had loved his wife deeply, but often he was out working and only went home on weekends. One Saturday he was shopping and he met a lady who told him that the last child his wife had was not his. He was startled! The woman continued to tell him that that was his brother's child. When he got home he confronted his wife, and she admitted that she had an affair with the other man. He began to hate the child, but the child, of course, was innocent.

When he became ill, it was that very child who nursed him because he could not help himself. When he died and they were going through some of his documents, they came across a letter that this man wrote to his wife. He told her that he hated her because he had loved her so much and she deceived him, and he would never forgive her. When I heard about this matter, I said to myself, that woman should not have said anything to this man. Perhaps she thought she was being good to him by telling him what a terrible wife he had. The man never left his wife, but he confessed that his love had turned to hate.

On the other hand, the very girl who was not his own nursed him while he was ill. One never knows what will happen in life.

Pastor