Boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend keeps calling at night

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I am living with a man. He is very difficult to deal with. He used to live with his children's mother. He has a seven-year-old and a 10-year-old with her.

When we met, he told me he wanted to settle down, but he couldn't settle down with this woman. I have tried my best to please him. He is a jealous man, but I don't let that bother me, because I know he is the only man in my life.

When we started living together, he was like skin and bones, but now he has put on weight and he credits me for that. This man supports his children. He sends their mother money every month. He put the money into her account, but she is not satisfied. She is always calling him, asking him for more.

If the children are suffering from a little headache, she calls him and tells him she needs money to take them to the doctor. He always tries to give her the money. She has a dirty habit of calling him any time of the night, and what is worse is that my man always answers the phone, even if we are making love.

One night she called him to tell him about something that one of the children did at school. I was so upset that I called her the following day and I told her that she should be more reasonable, and she should remember that he is living with another woman, and we need our time together. I told her that she should have waited for a more appropriate time to tell him what the child did in school.

However, she cursed me and said it is because I don't have children why I was talking that way. She said I should try and get him to impregnate me, because I was jealous of her.

I am not jealous of this woman. It is true that I would love to have a child, but I am still young and I don't want to have children out of wedlock.

My fiance said I should not have called her. I know I did not do anything wrong. I don't have to rely on this man to support me. I have a very good job. In fact, I earn more money than this man. However, his children's mother wouldn't know that. I just want to know from you if you believed that I should not have called her.

My fiance did not quarrel with me because I called her, he just said that I should not have called her because by doing so, I made her feel that she is somebody.

H.

Dear H.,

I know that you are upset with this woman. She is not a person who uses her discretion. Evidently, she believes that because she has two children by this man she has the right to call him whenever she pleases. She is so wrong!

Your fiance believes that you should keep out of the matter and that you should not have anything to do with her. One may say he is correct, but if you are living with him, there are times that you may have to talk to her or even get involved in matters relating to her children. It is the children's father, yes, but at the moment you are his woman.

What I think that your fiance should do is not answer the phone when both of you are in bed and she calls. On the other hand, he might not want to do so because there could be an emergency. You can tolerate an emergency call, but this woman is just not considerate.

Pastor