Can’t get enough of my 75-year-old boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am a 70-year-old woman, but people say that I look younger than my age.

The truth is, I don't know how a 70-year-old woman should feel. But I remember that when I was 50, I was energetic; and now that I am 70, I feel the same. I feel fit and I exercise every day.

I lost my husband almost five years ago. But for over a year now, another man has come into my life. You can say that we are dating. He is very romantic. He takes me out to dinner and spends time with me. He is 75. I have two grown sons and they always tell me that I should not think about getting married again because they can take care of me. But I do enjoy this man's company and making love to him.

When I was a young girl, I did not know I would understand why older women get involved with young men. One of my friends told me that she rented a room just for her boyfriend to come and spend two nights with her. She travelled on her own to this place, and she took her own transportation back.

The crazy part is that she used to teach this young man in high school and he had great respect for her. One day he saw her in the supermarket and he said, "Miss so and so, you look so lovely." He asked her about her husband and she told him that he had passed on. He took her home and she invited him in. They exchanged numbers and that is how the love affair started. She did not want any of her neighbours to suspect her with this young man.

My male friend calls me when he is coming to visit me. I don't know what to do, because my boys are not encouraging me to get married. They were at home for Christmas last year, so they met him and they like him. My boys are very educated, and so is this man. They don't see eye to eye on politics, but they argue in good spirit. Both of my sons are married.

This man likes me to bathe him and massage him. He is divorced. I don't know what to do because whenever I don't see this man for a few days, I feel so miserable. Sometimes I feel for sex, and sometimes I just want him to hold me and squeeze me and stare in my eyes. I want your advice, but please don't condemn me.

E.R.

Dear E.R.,

I want to thank you for your letter. I want you to know that your letter is not unusual.

I have met many women in your age group and I have also received many letters from them. Their main purpose in writing to me, or coming to see me, is that they want me to assist them in finding partners.

I have mentioned before in this column that a very beautiful, well put together senior lady came to see me and told me that she was retired. She has her lovely home. Her pension is good. She got a good retirement package. We talked for a while and she left. One of my workers knocked on my door and told me that the lady came back. I told her to let her in. When she came in I said, "What is it now?" and she said, "Pastor, I forget to tell you that I don't need an old man; I just wanted you to know that although I want a man, I don't need an old man." I assured her that I understood.

You are doing well financially. Your sons are doing well. They love you and they are concerned about you, because they don't want any man to take advantage of you. But you are only 70 and you are a wise woman. You know what your biological needs are. I can only encourage you to be careful. Make sure you give your heart solely to the Lord. Make sure, also, that you do not allow any man to use you.

Reason with your children and tell them how you feel; and tell them why you would want to get married, if that is what you want. Believe me, boys always say that they don't want anybody to take advantage of their mothers. That wouldn't happen, because you have wise children. Any man who tries to abuse you would be beaten by them with a big stick. That is all I have to say to you today. Take care.

Pastor