My fiancé is my sister’s brother-in-law

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and I am engaged to a man who is also 24. I am Jamaican, but he is not.

My sister is married to his brother. When we became friends and I realised that his brother was my brother-in-law, I told him that we are already related, so we should not become intimate. My sister's husband thought that I was very silly, and he encouraged me to stay with his brother. He comes from a very lovely family.

I sought guidance from my pastor, but what he told me is not what I wanted to hear. He told me that there is nothing in the Bible against that, for two sisters to marry two brothers. I stopped seeing this man for about a month, but he kept calling me and telling me how much he loves me, and that he will not give up until he has won my heart.

This man comes from a wealthy family. When my sister married his brother, his parents paid for the wedding and gave them the down payment for a new three-bedroom apartment. Although I have made up my mind to marry this man, I am still questioning whether it is the right thing for me to do. So I am asking you for your advice.

I have only started making love with him recently, but if you can point out anything in the Bible that will show me that it is wrong to marry him, I will not do so. This man is not a Christian, but neither am I. So we are not unequally yoked. He is half-Indian, but I am a Negro girl of very light complexion, and I am taller than he is. Oh, I should let you know that we live in New York and both of us have good jobs.

His people have got to like me. I have not told my side of relatives that my sister's husband is related to him. I do not know how they will react when they find out. Do you suggest that I do so now? My parents are living in Jamaica.

T.M.,

Dear T.M.,

I should answer your questions and comment on your concerns by telling you that I have very good friends who are educators.

It was only a few years ago that one of them, who was the president of a college, told me that his marriage was arranged by his parents, and his wife's sister's marriage was also arranged to his brother. Everything is going fine. I hope I will not disappoint you, but the truth is that I do not know anything in the Bible that speaks against marriages that were arranged by parents. What the Bible is strictly against is that relatives should not have sex with their cousins and in-laws who are married. I can only wish you well. Take good care of yourself.

Pastor