Wife can’t stand my daughter

Dear Pastor,

I am a Jamaican, but I am living and working outside the country. I am married to a foreign woman. Before we got married, I told her that I would like to retire in my homeland. She has visited Jamaica with me many times and according to her, she loves Jamaica.

We have two houses; one in which we live and the other in Jamaica that is controlled by my daughter. My daughter does not love my wife. My wife insists that I should know everything my daughter is doing with the money the tenants pay her.

My daughter and her boyfriend live on the small side of the house. I did not charge her to live there because I want her to take care of the place and keep it in good order. There are two bathrooms; one on the large side and one on the small side. For five months now, she has been telling us that the large side is vacant so she has not sent any money to us. My wife told me that her information is that people occupy the large side; therefore, my daughter is stealing from us and I should take a trip and find out for myself what is going on, or allow her to go and check this thing out.

My wife is a very aggressive woman and my daughter would not stand for foolishness, either. I have a friend living very close to our property and I asked him to check to see if anybody is living on the large side. He told me that it appears so, because a vehicle is always parked there and lights are always on.

I don't trust my daughter's boyfriend. He is likely to have his friends live at the property for free, or he may collect rent from the tenant and he and my daughter will use the money.

My wife is questioning me about coming back to Jamaica to live. She says it would be better for us to sell the house and buy another closer to the seaside.

I plan to retire in four years. I wanted to be close to my daughter, but I also want to please my wife. I don't want my marriage to break up. My daughter's boyfriend is not working and it doesn't seem as if he is interested in finding a job. My daughter is working. I used to think that we would let our daughter control that house by giving it to her in a will, but if she is robbing us we will not give her the house.

My wife and I have worked hard, and she has helped me to pay for that house. We do not owe any mortgage on it. My wife would have a big say about which one of the children would inherit it. Please give me your advice.

S.

Dear S.,

You have a right to be concerned about whether your daughter is telling you the truth. She is living in the small side of the house for free, and you trust her to use the rent of the big side of the house to maintain the property. There are costs such as property taxes and utilities that are associated with maintaining houses. Your daughter should know that it would be wrong to have the house empty, while you have to send money to maintain the property. In fact, the mistake you probably made was that you did not tell your daughter that she should pay rent for the small side of the house that she occupies. Brother, your so-called son-in-law should not be living in that house with your daughter for free.

Your daughter should realise that your wife has nothing against her. She is standing on principle and if the house is properly maintained, it would not be difficult for someone to rent it. So, I will make this suggestion; book your ticket and come to check out what is happening to your house. Do not send your wife alone. If she can accompany you on the trip, encourage her to do so.

I wish you well. If the house is not furnished, book a hotel room for a night or two, it would be good for you and your wife to spend some time together in a hotel room in Jamaica.

Pastor