Girlfriend does not believe in saving her money

Dear Pastor,

I look forward to your column every week. I am 40 years old. I have been married once, but it ended in a divorce. Now I am in love again and would like to get married, but I am in a sticky situation.

This young woman is much younger than me and she does not believe in saving. She is a party lover. She got that from her mother, who is always going out with different men. That is not my business, but I love this girl and I would love for us to get married. I still consider myself young enough to be a father. This young woman does not have children. She has a very good job, but apart from having a lovely car, she can't give a good account for what she does with her money. To encourage her to save, I have explained everything about myself to her.

This young woman is 27 and she has been working for five years and living on her credit card. I have an account with a credit union and I showed her what I have in it. She said none of her boyfriends had ever done that. I am paying a mortgage for the house in which I live. She wants to live with me and I am encouraging her to do so. I told her that I would have to have a big say in how she spends her money. She does not seem to be happy about that. But how could I have a woman and three days or so after being paid she is broke?

I assist my mother every month and I told her that it was my wish that she would stop working when she is 55. I discussed that with my siblings and they all agreed that we should start taking care of our mother's bills, but not our father's. He did not support us as children. Occasionally I send him some money, and I know he drinks it out. But our mother has always been there for us.

So I am writing to you because I am wondering what to do. Is this young woman too young to understand that she should save some of her money? She has a great figure, but I want to see her grow with me financially. Please give me your advice.

R.W.

Dear R.W.,

You have been married once and your marriage ended in divorce, but that does not mean that if you were to marry again, your marriage will not be successful.

You have to make sure that you do not make the same mistakes that you made in your first marriage. You have to teach this woman how to handle her money. If she loves you, she would listen and follow your advice. Try to show this young lady that she should begin to save at least 10 per cent of what she earns. One should not spend everything he or she earns. It would be good to save more than 10 per cent, but 10 per cent is a good place to start.

You have been putting money in a credit union, and you need to be congratulated for doing so. You could have this lady doing the same. The credit union may pay you more than a bank. Both of you could check that out.

This young woman does not have an emergency account, and every individual should have one. If both of you are to get married, you should sit with a financial adviser who would also show you how to invest. You will be surprised how money can grow in 10 years. So don't give up on your girlfriend; she was never taught how to save and invest, so both of you can learn together.

You are 40 and if you are not yet buying stocks, you should. That is a wonderful place to invest money. But as I said, the time will come when both of you should speak to a financial adviser. I wish you well; let me hear from you again.

Pastor