I want house and land before having another child

Dear Pastor,

I am 32 years old and I am having a relationship with a man who is 35. This man does not have any children. When I asked him why, he said that none of the women that he went with had ever given him any children.

He said that he loves children, has not given up on having them, and he wants to know if I would agree to have a child by him. I told him that I would agree, but he had to put my name on his house title so that if anything goes wrong with him, I would not be kicked out of his house with his child. I have two children and they are not living with me. They are living with their father. I do not have a home of my own. This man says whatever he has will belong to me and the child that I hope to have with him.

My sister was with a man who was married and when he died, his former wife went to see her and gave her three months to leave her house. She thought that because she was with this man, she would have been able to stay in the house, but the lawyer told her that it does not work that way.

I don't know if this man is telling me the truth. He said he doesn't have children, but if anything should happen to him, a young man or young woman may just come out of the woods and claim to be his son or daughter. I am sure you understand what I mean.

I am now in church, and this man wants to take me out of it. I don't want to lose my soul; and I don't want to get old and not have anything in my name. He gives me money and I thank him for what he gives me, but to have a child with him, I need more from him. He is still paying mortgage on his house.

Do you believe that I am wrong to tell him to put my name on his house title? Tell me if I am wrong.

T.B.

Dear T.B.,

It is better to tell this man that you are not interested in getting pregnant again unless he marries you. You already have two children, but to demand that this man put your name on his house title, in my opinion, you are going too far. You are trying to buy his love. If he is wise at all, he should not agree to your request. Right now both of you only have a relationship, but you want a part of this man's assets. You are going too far. He should break up with you. That is how I see it.

Pastor