Babyfather hit me over a silly argument

Dear Pastor,

I will soon be 26 and I have been in and out of relationships with guys from I was 16. I thought that by now I would have been married, but instead I have ended up with three children for three different men. Two of these men went to the US to work and did not return.

One of them was really a good guy because he sent me money to support his child. But because he did not have any official papers, he met a woman and married her. He told me before he got married that after a while he would divorce her and come back to Jamaica and marry me, but it didn't work out that way. After a while he told me that he has fallen in love with her, but he would still support his daughter, which he does.

The other guy who went to America hardly sends me anything for his son. I am now with the meanest human being you could find. He has a good job and I have been faithful to him. I know he has not been faithful to me because I have gone into his phone and seen what he is doing. He also used his credit card to take girls to hotels. But I am not the running around type.

My father told me to leave him. He said that as long as I am with him, he will not give me any money to help me buy a house. My father is a loving dad. This guy punched me in my eyes and I had to seek medical attention, and my father told him that he would chop off his head. So my father hates him. I like that he is sending his son to a good prep school. I don't have to depend on him for anything because I am working. He thinks that I am wasting money when I have to do my hair and my nails.

I have a visa and when I could have left Jamaica, I didn't. Now I will not leave my children on my mother. The scar is still on my face from the thump that this man gave me. He could have spoiled me, but I am still looking beautiful. He hit me over a silly argument. I could have caused him to lose his job, but I did not report him. Because of this man, I will never get pregnant again.

One of my girlfriends said that her husband's friend saw my photograph and fell in love with me. He is 27 and seeking a wife. I am interested in him. He calls me every day. My father told me to go for it, but I am afraid. He may want to have children, but I don't want more. So please give me your advice.

F.C.

Dear F.C.,

You consider yourself very unfortunate. You talked about the young man who left you and went to work abroad and sent you money to support his daughter.

I can see that you truly love him. But as you said, he was not permanent, so he got married. Then he fell in love with the woman. Now some people may question how he could be married to someone and then fall in love with her after. Well, as a counsellor, I can say that I have known people who were not in love. I am thinking of a young woman who I have known since she was a child. She went to the US, and got married to a man. In her heart, she said she accepted him, but it was a business marriage. The relationship developed and eventually she fell in love with him. I don't encourage that type of relationship or marriage. I am against business marriages. Marriage is too sacred for that.

So your child's father got caught, and eventually he told you that you should move on because he was in love with the woman. Unfortunately, the other young man who went to America has not been supporting his child very well.

This third man is no good. You didn't mention the work he does. He should have been reported and arrested for hitting you. Frankly, he should have lost his job. Your father would never love and appreciate such a beast.

Concerning the new development in your life with this young man who has been calling you; you are very close to your father and he told you to go for it. I would say, get to know him some more, and if you see that there could be a future with him, marry him.

Pastor