I told my soulmate to marry another man

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and all your readers. I continue to read your column and to listen to you. I am inspired by your wisdom. You are a positive individual. Jamaica, for me, is very hard, but to some it is not hard. Jamaica is becoming a 'woman country'. The women are taking over.

The men are not doing well. I have two sons and I always have to be encouraging them not to give up. I have told them to learn skills so that they will be able to survive and take care of themselves.

I do not have any girl children. I am a farmer. I am building my own house. I have my two children with two different women. The mother of my first son told me that she didn't want any dirty farmer. She said farmers spend too much time on their farms. In contrast, my second son's mother adored me as a farmer. She used to accompany me to my farm and help me to plant and to weed. I got her pregnant on my little farm. It was her first experience, and she never had a problem with the pregnancy. I was with her all the way, even at the time when she was giving birth. I will always love her.

We are not lovers any more because she had an opportunity to go overseas for work. While there, a man saw her and fell in love with her. He has what I don't have. He is half-white and he has money. She called me and asked me what she should do. I told her to go ahead and marry this man because he will help her and our son in the future. So, she married him.

My son is now living with them in the United States of America. Sometimes I wonder whether I did the right thing, because I have not seen my son for four years. I am longing to see him, but I do hear from him from time to time.

It is hard for me to get married because I do not believe I will have a woman who was good and faithful to me like my second child's mother. She was satisfied with whatever I gave her. She was never into bling bling. Sometimes I used to give her extra money and say to her, "Go and do your hair."

She has told me that I should find a woman and settle down. Her husband told her to tell me that anytime I am willing to leave Jamaica, they will find me a good woman. I often dream of her, but I was the one who told her to go ahead and marry this man. Our son is doing very well. He is very bright. I say that he got that from his mother, and she says that he got his brightness from me.

I still have my little farm and the little house where this girl and I spent time together, and where she got pregnant. I am not going to destroy that house. Whenever I go in there to rest, I remember her so much. Thanks for reading this letter.

I.M

Dear I.M.,

I believe that you were quite correct in encouraging your son's mother to get married to the man who fell in love with her. Although you would have loved to have her, she had an opportunity to do better in the USA. You saw that, so you set her free.

Only a good man would do that to a woman. This man may end up giving your son a better education than you would have been able to do, if his mother was to stay in Jamaica with him. That little hut on your little farm will always mean so much to you. I hope no hurricane will blow it down.

Concerning your fist child's mother, she did not want to have a lasting relationship with you because she felt that farmers will have dirty hands and dirty clothes, etc. She was a silly woman. Make sure you take care of the son she has by you.

Dear brother, whenever it is possible, please take a break from your hard work and visit the USA and spend some time with your son. I wish you well, I really do.

Pastor