Boyfriend’s brother tried to sleep with me

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old woman, and I am having an issue. I have a boyfriend who is 25. He and his brother are sharing a house.

It is not convenient for me to continue to live at my parents' home because I have two sisters, and all of us as girls had to sleep in one room, on one double bed. Most times I slept on the floor.

My parents have their own room. Our father is a security guard and when he was working, I used to sleep with my mother. One of my sisters became pregnant, so my boyfriend told me I should come and live with him. I never liked living with a man, but I had no choice. My parents told me that I should go, but if it didn't suit me, I should come back home.

HE WAS CRAZY

Soon after I started to live with him, his brother 'put question' to me. I asked him whether he was crazy and whether he would like his brother to put question to his girlfriend. He said it would be up to his girlfriend to agree or disagree. I told him that I would tell his brother that he wanted me to go to bed with him and he said I would be a fool to tell him, because he would deny it and insist that I could not stay there any more because I was a liar. I thought about it and decided that I would keep quiet. Sometimes when I am there, he sticks out his tongue at me.

His girlfriend is not living at the house, but she comes and stays over frequently. We talk very well. She asked me whether I liked staying there and I told her no. She asked me why and I told her that her boyfriend was always looking at me and I was scared of him. She told him to keep his eyes off me, and he asked her how could a man keep his eyes off a woman if she was always in his space.

One day I was alone, and he was alone in his room, and I knew he was masturbating because I could hear him. I am no fool; he wanted me to hear what he was saying and doing to himself. When his brother came home, I told him what I heard, and I also told him that I would go back to my parents although it was inconvenient there. He said I was not going anywhere; he would talk to his brother, and he would look around for a place for us to move. He did not talk to his brother, but he started to look for another place. We have found a big room with its own bathroom and kitchen. It is not a modern place, but we are comfortable. His brother cursed me when I was leaving, but I did not respond to him.

Now I am pregnant, and this was the last thing I wanted to happen to me. But my boyfriend is very good to me. I am glad that I was not careless to get involved with my boyfriend's brother.

N.D.

Dear N.D.,

You are a very wise young lady. You did not do anything when you went to live with your boyfriend. You behaved as a lady should.

You did not get emotionally involved with your boyfriend's brother. You stayed out of his way. He thought that you were a pushover, but he was wrong; you are a decent young woman. It is never wise for a girl to share a house with two men, especially when they must use the same kitchen and bathroom. Your boyfriend's brother doesn't have good morals. So, I am glad that your boyfriend and you have found another place to live.

Now that you are pregnant, you should concentrate on becoming a good mother. I hope that your boyfriend will be able to pay the rent. You did not want to live with a man until you were married, so perhaps your boyfriend and you should put all plans in place to get married as soon as possible. Please ignore all the things that your boyfriend's brother said about you.

Pastor