I may have found wife number three

Dear Pastor,

I am 50 years old and I am divorced. I have been married twice. My first wife died and I remarried. My first marriage was just perfect, but that wicked cancer took my wife away from me. Looking back now, I believe that I got married for the second time too quickly. I was very lonely and the pastor of the church encouraged me to marry again. So I got married to one of the sisters in the church. That was one of the biggest mistakes I made.

She did not believe in cooking. She asked why she should cook when there were so many restaurants in New York. So, we went out to eat almost every day. If we did not go out, she brought home fast food. Sometimes I really missed my first wife. She was Jamaican and she made Jamaican dishes. My second wife is American and she couldn't walk in my first wife's shoes. Another thing, Pastor, she would spend every cent I earned. She didn't believe in saving.

When my son turned 18, this woman, without my permission, told him that he should find somewhere else to live. I was so upset. The young man was not giving us any trouble, but that was the lifestyle that she believed in. When a child gets to the age of 18, he/she must go on his/her own. So for peace in the house, I arranged with one of my sisters to have my son live with her. My sister called my wife and cursed her and called her John crow, and told her that I must have been blind when I got married to her.

This woman tried to get my house, but she did not succeed. I left my church, but I am back and I am now having a relationship with a 36-year-old woman who was also once married. She treats me very well and she keeps the home clean. She can cook Jamaican food. She has one child. We have been talking about that child, taking her as my own and adopting her. My pastor says that he will not encourage me to do so. My son is also planning to return home to save some money.

Do you think that is a good idea? Pastor, please don't ignore my letter; try and write me back.

M.B.

Dear M.B.,

Don't allow anybody to push you into another marriage. But if you find this present young woman to be godly and fits your criteria, discuss marriage with her.

Find a counsellor, and both of you should go through premarital counselling. You are not going to find any other woman like your first wife, but you can find someone who is compatible.

Your second wife was out of order. She should not have told your son that it was time for him to leave your house. Even some women in Jamaica tell young men that they ought to pack up and leave their parents' home because they have come of age. Some foolish young men put themselves into serious financial burden by leaving their parents' home too soon.

I wish you well. Be careful how you go about a third marriage.

Pastor