Husband says he will cheat to get more children

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am married. I have two daughters. My husband is 24 and at present he is the only one working. I am hoping to get a job very soon.

My husband is insisting that he wants at least four children, and two of his children should be boys. I told him that I am satisfied with the two that we have, but he says he wants his boys to carry his last name.

My husband refuses to allow me to use protection and he does not want to use the condom at all. He said that by using the condom, we are putting a blight on his future, and whenever he discharges in a condom, he might be killing a powerful statesman, or even the future prime minister.

To avoid arguments, I go to the clinic and I take the injection. That has been happening for more than a year, so he is now asking me what has happened why I am not getting pregnant again. Whenever he asks that, I tell him that God loves me or I tease him and tell him that he has no more seed in him.

I got scared a few weeks ago when he raised the issue again about not getting pregnant and he said that if he has run out of seed, he can know because he will go to another girl to see if he can get her pregnant. So I am thinking that I should stop using the injection. I don't want my husband to get involved with any girl and impregnate her.

Do you think that I should tell my husband what I have been doing? He might become very upset with me. But I know he is crazy enough to go with other women to prove whether or not he can impregnate them. I want to know what you think about that.

J.S.

Dear J.S.,

I understand how you feel and why you are trying to protect yourself from becoming pregnant again. Your husband wants more children, but you do not. To you, having two children is enough, but to him, four is the ideal number.

You do not have to confess anything to your husband right now, but you should tell him that you do not support him wanting to go out to have sex with other women. Therefore you are suggesting that both of you set an appointment to see a family counsellor to discuss the issue.

What kind of work does your husband engage in? Can he really support four children? Don't allow this matter to break up your marriage. Go and see a family counsellor, and do so right away.

Pastor