My fiancée feels guilty that we are fornicating

Dear Pastor,

Pastor I hope you are trying to keep safe. My fiancee and I just finished reading your page in THE STAR. My fiancee and I are Christians. We are living together and our pastor is very much against that. We told him that we did not plan to live together, but my girlfriend had to leave where she was living and she didn't have anywhere to go. I could not allow her to go on the street, so I took her in. My fiancee used to sing on the choir but now that we are not meeting as a church, the choir is not sitting in its usual place. I don't have any position in the church since my fiancee is living here with me. We are having sex in a limited way. Every time we have sex, my girlfriend reminds me that we should not be having sex. I told her we should go and do a private wedding, but she wants us to wait until after COVID because she wants to have everybody attending our wedding. Our pastor says he will not do our wedding because we are fornicators and while he is condemning us, we know one of his sons is having an affair with a married woman and the pastor knows about it and the married woman is right there in the church. We would like to know if you would be willing to officiate at our wedding when we are ready. I am trying not to get my fiancee pregnant.

Christian

Dear Christian,

You and your fiancee should not be living together. She should have found somewhere else to board if she is such a wonderful Christian. Perhaps your pastor should have been more sympathetic to your problem instead of calling you fornicators, but that is the way he felt he had to deal with the matter. He should have encouraged both of you to get married in a very private ceremony although your fiancee wants to have a big wedding. I suggest that both of you go back to see your pastor and reason with him, tell him that you know it is wrong for both of you to be living together but you are pleading for his understanding. If he refuses to listen to you and continues to say that he will not officiate at your wedding, be assured that I will be willing to officiate with you and I will not charge you at all. I am advising you to get married and go back to your church. Concerning what you have said about the pastor's son, that could just be a rumour. I doubt the pastor knows that his son and this woman are purported to be having a relationship and playing any role in the church. You could have a small private wedding and later you can have a big ceremony where you renew your vows and invite as many people as you wish.

Pastor