‘Monster-in-law’ driving me crazy

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, but I always read your column. It is interesting and very enjoyable, so I decided to read it.

My boyfriend said that you were biased and that you were always taking the sides of women. We used to argue over that because I did not see that to be true. He went abroad and I had to move in with his mother because I could not pay the rent alone, and his mother used to watch me 24/7. I could not keep any male company. The woman kept a diary on me. She even started to question whether our little daughter belongs to her son. To get a break from her, I used to go and spend some weekends with my mother and she told her son that I was spending my weekends with a man. When my child's father was coming back to Jamaica, he did not inform me; he came suddenly hoping to catch me with a man. I know he was not going to catch me with a man because there was no man to catch. I found out in recent times that the man she told my boyfriend was his father is not his biological father, and she thinks that every woman would cheat just as how she cheated. I told my boyfriend I am willing to do the DNA to prove that our child is his biological daughter. She is not a good woman and yet she is 55 years old. I don't want us to stay in her house any longer, but my boyfriend does not want us to move. He wants us to stay here and save until we can pay down on our own house, but I cannot stand this woman and I do not know what to do. When I have to use the kitchen and she is in there, especially on Sundays, I tell my boyfriend to buy us some fried chicken, corn and chips to avoid using the kitchen. She does not have anything good to say about me. She does not like me and I do not like her. Please give me your advice.

M.L.

Dear M.L.,

Your child's father should move you out of his mother's house. Some mothers-in-law get along very well with daughters-in-law, but some do not. Some believe they have a right to control their daughters-in-law. Some are very jealous, especially if their sons take care of their women. This woman should mind her own business, but evidently she does not know how to do so, and if her son truly loves her, he is likely to listen to what she says. He should move you out from her house, otherwise the relationship between the both of you will never be happy. She feels that she has a right to tell you what to do because you are living in her house and she is making a big mistake. You are a grown woman and you should have your own key to wherever you live. So let your man find you another place to live as soon as possible.

Pastor