Dad saw me and my boyfriend naked

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 and I feel my father is going to destroy me with beating. I have a boyfriend who is 21 and my father knows him and has allowed me to go on dates with him.

But he doesn't want this guy around when he and my mother are not here. He says he does not want to encourage that. We live in a gated community and the people here don't mind their own business. My mother was away a couple of months ago, and it was just my father and I. He is a businessman and he went to a hotel to meet with someone to do business.

My boyfriend called me and I told him that I was alone so he could come over. Before I could count to 10, he called and said he was at the gate, but the security wouldn't let him in. I told the security it was all right, so he let him in. The devil is so strong. I had just had my shower and he commented how I was smelling good. We put on some music. I wasn't expecting my father to come back so soon, so we were playing music and dancing. I did not hear when my father came in and came upstairs and saw me dancing with my boyfriend, and we were naked.

My father was shocked. He pulled off his belt and gave me three licks. My boyfriend tried to get involved and I had to shout at him while I tried to cover up because my father has not seen me naked since I was a child. My boyfriend grabbed his pants and my father said "You come right in my house and had sex with my daughter?" My boyfriend ran.

NEVER COME BACK

He didn't even have time to put on his underwear or his shoes. My father told him never to come back to his house.

Late into the night I called my boyfriend and told him to apologise to my father and my father told him he didn't want any "whatsitnot" apology from him, and said that I let him down. Pastor, my father and I have a good relationship and I can't tell when last I said "Hi, Dad" and he answered. My mother keeps asking me what's wrong with us but I have not told her and all I do is cry. Pastor, I made a big mistake and I don't know when I am going to get over it, and it is my father who is paying for me to go to university. It is not a matter between my father and my boyfriend. I love them both. If you should see the terrible marks on my skin you would feel sorry for me. Please tell me what to do.

F.M.

Dear F.M.,

I know for sure that you are very careless but I am not going to condemn you. You have already made yourself a fool. Your parents know your boyfriend but it is typical for parents to tell their daughters not to allow their boyfriends to come to the house when they are not there. Therefore you should not have allowed him to come. When a man is at a home with his girlfriend and her parents are not there, it is likely that they are going to be tempted to have sexual intercourse. So when your boyfriend called you and you told him that you were at home alone, you were throwing yourself at him. That was an invitation for him to have sex with you but your father did not actually see you having sex. He saw you dancing in the nude and he assumed that either you had sex before he got there or you were going to have it.

Your father said you let him down. I am still wondering why your father has not said anything to your mother. I hope that your father would accept your boyfriend's apology and, in time, he would forgive you. I wish you well.

Pastor