Lost my virginity for a graduation gift

Dear Pastor,

I grew up with my mother. She never got married, but she used to have many male visitors.

I have two sisters and a brother. We all stayed in one room, and my mother slept in the other. She entertained her male friends in her room. We did not have a good partition to separate the rooms. My mother only used a blanket and a sheet to separate the rooms.

One night, my mother had her man in there and he was very upset with her. He accused her of having sex with another man. When she could not take the beating, she told him that she could not give away her 'front'. The man stayed with her until late in the night. My younger brother fell asleep, but my sister and I could not sleep. It was after the man left that we fell asleep. In the morning, we told our mother what we heard and she begged us not to repeat it to anybody. I told my sister that when I am older, I didn't want any man because I would not want one to beat me as this man did to our mother. By the weekend, this man came back one night. He brought money for my mom and we suspected that they had sex. Sometimes we could hear when my mother and men were having sex. My mother told us that she couldn't do better because she wanted money to send us to school.

I am now 17 years old and my sister is 19. She is still a virgin, but I am not. I lost my virginity on the day I graduated from high school. I had sex with the man who provided everything for me for my graduation. You may ask what about my father. I do not know my father, and neither does my sister know hers. This guy does not ill-treat me. I am hoping to continue my education with the help of this guy. My ambition is to become a nurse. My sister and I are also hoping to start our own business. My mother has settled down with one man and she is now attending church. My sister buys and sells online, but I always wanted to be a nurse.

U.T.

Dear U.T.,

You have grown up as a very poor girl and I am sure that if your mother could have avoided it, men would not have been able to take advantage of her.

She did not even have privacy to entertain men. This man who beat her up and accused her of having sex with another man was out of order. Even if she had done so, he had no right to beat her. I hope that none of you girls will follow in your mother's footsteps.

You have a boyfriend and he is assisting you. Keep one boyfriend. You want to be a nurse, so work towards that. Learn to trust God and He will see you through life.

Pastor