Don’t want this man to think he owns me

Dear Pastor,

I am in my early 40s and I met a man who is in his early 60s. He is well known in Jamaica. He lost his wife some time ago. I met him at an event and we hit it off.

This man calls me every night and we will talk for hours. He has his own business and his business is doing very well. He is always offering me help. I used to tell him that I didn't need help but I was discussing him with my mother and my mother told me that I was a fool. She wondered how I could say that I didn't need help and I was driving a car that occasionally had to be taken to the garage. The last time we had heavy rain, my house was leaking, so I told the man that I could use a little help with no strings attached. He said he felt insulted when I said no strings attached. I did not mean to insult him but I don't want help from him and then he will feel that he has me hooked. One Friday evening he stopped by my house and gave me $100,000. After he left, I called my mother and told her how much he gave me. My mother told me that she wanted something out of it. She was only joking but I gave my mother $20,000 and I also bought a bottle of non-alcoholic wine and we drank that. To this very day this man and I have not gone to bed. He has not even suggested that but I don't know if I could say no to him if he asked me to go to bed with him. I have been to his house. He introduced me to his helper. She keeps the place tidy. He is a good Christian man. I am getting to love him more and more. What do you think about this relationship?

E.R.

Dear E.R.,

It seems to me that you have come to know a good man. He is not a sufferer and from time to time, he sees that you have needs. As a grown man, he knows that as a single woman you would need help so he has offered you help. You insulted him when you told him that if you were to take help it would be with no strings attached. But although he took it as an insult, you did not want him to feel that by taking his money you would go to bed with him. I could say to you that if this man suggests that you marry him, you should accept his proposal.

Pastor