Children climbed on a dresser to watch us make love

Dear Pastor,

I want to begin by saying to you that you are doing a very good job. I want to relate something to you that is very embarrassing. I am 35 years old and I have a daughter. Her father and I are not together. I have another man in my life. We are almost living together but not totally, if you know what I mean. He spends a whole lot of time at my house.

My daughter is 11 years old. My nephew, who is eight years old, is living with us as well. They share a room together but they have separate beds. One evening my boyfriend and I were in our room having sex. Our room is not very dark, and the partition between our room and the children's room does not go right up to ceiling. It is a board house so the house itself is not good, but these children should know that they should not peep. That evening, we realise they were looking at us having sex. I tried to indicate to my boyfriend that we had to stop.

The children climbed up on a dresser and were looking at us. You could image how terrible I felt. I gave my daughter a fine beating. My nephew ran. I don't want him back here. My daughter got the beating because my nephew said it is she who told him that they should peep because she saw us having sex before.

My boyfriend said that I should not beat her. My brother said it is not the children's fault because I know the kind of house I live in and that we should have been careful. He also said that whenever we are having sex we should make sure they were asleep.

This thing has caused a falling-out between my brother and myself, and I feel so bad about it. My brother is a great help to me but these days he wouldn't even answer when I call, and his son is no longer with us. Not even my boyfriend wants to come around again because he says my daughter might be peeping.

K.

Dear K.,

Your boyfriend and yourself have been careless by having sexual intercourse and not having privacy. You gave your daughter a spanking, which your boyfriend told you that you shouldn't have done, but you were angry and embarrassed, but you should admit that you were careless.

Concerning the relationship with you and your brother, you should do your best to mend it. He has been a good brother to you, and both of you need each other. I would suggest also that you try and do some work on your house. I am sure that even your brother would assist you in getting some plyboard to block off where your daughter is sleeping from her room.

Whatever can be done to give you privacy, please do it. Tell your daughter to forgive you for the mistakes that you have made. She will appreciate that.

Pastor