I have a homosexual spirit inside me

October 23, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 17. I am a Christian; I got baptised when I was 13. I am currently struggling with addictions. I lead worship at church almost every Sunday, but I am not focused.

I am struggling with masturbation, pornography, lust, self-stimulation, and the desire to have relationships with men.

I find that I am more attracted to same-sex porn. I tried fasting and praying for three days at home, but it seems as if it is not working.

I even made a sex toy with sponge. When I am at church, I feel like I am not there, because my mind is all on sex. I know this is wrong, and that is the reason why I come to you for help. I asked God to take away these desires from me; I pray a lot, including early mornings. I love doing worship, but these addictions are affecting me.

I even told God to show me somebody who understands. This is getting to me now, I need to stop. I need help because I don't want to burn in the fire of hell. I am attracted to males.

It seems I have a homosexual spirit inside me that I need to cast out. I need a breakthrough. All my family members are unsaved; I am the only Christian living in my yard.

I am not hearing God's voice, but I can feel his presence. I am spiritually deaf and blind. Please help me with even Bible scriptures to read or fasting tracks.

I need a spiritual mother and father. I used to have a spiritual mother back then, but I haven't been hearing from her. I need your advice, please!!!


Dear J.L.,

First, I want to ask Christians everywhere to join me in prayer for you. I believe that you are sincere and that you are indeed struggling to do what is right and to live for God genuinely. You believe that you are a failure. Some of the things that you have mentioned are what young people your age experience. Many feel nasty and they consider themselves backsliders.

For example, you engage in masturbation. Well, you would be surprised to know that this is something that people do regularly, and some feel that they have failed the Lord.

The Bible does not address the issue. Some Christians condemn the practice. Although I would not encourage you to masturbate, I would not condemn you for doing so.

This is a topic that most people would admit privately that they do, and it is not a practice that is easy to break. I really want to put your mind at ease concerning masturbation.

I want you to know that by the time boys get to the age of adulthood, more than 90 per cent have masturbated; and for women, 60 per cent.

Both boys and girls begin to masturbate while they are in their teens. But by the time people get married, the urge dissipates. However, some continue to masturbate even after marriage.

Watching porn is not a good habit. Although some Christians say it helps them in their love lives, it is not something that should be encouraged.

There are many good books that a person can buy to entertain themselves. I would suggest to you that you read Romans 12, where Christians are encouraged to practise godliness and try to walk in holiness every day.

Put away pornographic material and buy good Christian books. By doing so, you will strengthen your faith.

Concerning the desire to establish sexual relationships with men, it is condemned in Scripture. Some may have different opinions, but the Bible is my standard, and the standard by which God expects us Christians to live. I take you to the Scriptures, and I ask you to read and pray.

I ask other Christians to pray for you, so that God will remove the evil desire that is in your heart. Go to Romans 1 and study the entire chapter, especially from verse 18 to verse 32.

You will see how God condemns people who have turned away from Him, doing the things that he considers to be vile. It is not for me to condemn anybody.

I could only point out that God's word is forever true and that God has the power to change any individual who calls upon Him for help. God can change you.

It may not happen right away, surely not overnight, but God is able to deliver you. I am with you in my prayers.


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