My children’s father wants DNA tests

Dear Pastor,

I am seeking your advice. I am 24 years old, and I am the mother of two. They are for one man, but people, including my own relatives, are telling my children's father that they are not his children because while he was away, another man was visiting me.

Pastor, it is true that I had male visitors, but they were my relatives. My brother, who is a farmer, used to come and see me every weekend. He brings me produce from his farm. His girlfriend used to come with him sometimes.

These people won't mind their own business. Now, my boyfriend seems to believe them. I can't believe he is now asking me for DNA. I asked him if he had a girlfriend in America, and he said no. So why does he need DNA? He said it is because of what he heard. Do you think I should agree to that?

J.

Dear J.,

You know that this man is the biological father of your children. So if he wants to do DNA tests on both of them, you should not be worried at all. If, however, you know that you were not true to him and there is a possibility that he is not the father of one or both of them, you should be concerned.

It should not matter what people say about you or how many men were visiting you. People will always talk. If a man is seen with a woman in his vehicle often, people will accuse them of having an intimate relationship. If they go out for dinner occasionally and they are seen together, folks will say they are having a relationship. Now they know that you have your man abroad so any male who is seen at your house or in your yard, especially if he has a vehicle parked at your gate or in your yard for a few hours, you are likely to be accused of cheating on your children's father. And they will tell him what they see. But you ought to know what you are doing. Ignore what people say about you.

Your children's father should have confidence in you. You should not be careless either. So don't curse or fight your boyfriend or your children's father if he asks for DNA tests. Tell him you are quite willing to let him have the tests done.

Pastor.