Gave my man bun and got lice

Dear Pastor,

I am embarrassed by something but I know that I can write to you about it. I am 24 and I am in what you may call a steady relationship.

I suspected that my boyfriend was being unfaithful to me. He changed his pattern of visiting me and I asked him about it.

He said that it was nothing for me to worry about, he was tied down with work. He is a security guard and I work with the government.

When I didn't see him I made sure I called him before going to bed. If he didn't hear from me, he would call me. Sometimes I would call him in the wee hours of the morning to check on him and if he didn't answer, he would call me back. I was true to him for a while. But I had sex three times with two different men.

That was because I was so lonely and these guys work in the same department with me. They used protection so I thought I was safe.

One day I felt itching around my pubic area and the itching continued, so I went to the doctor and he told me that I had pubic lice.

I was treated and I spoke to the guys I had sex with, and both said they were clean. I got treatment but I was afraid to say anything to my boyfriend.

The next time I met with him, he wanted to have sex. I suggested that I examine him; he thought it was fun and I was doing so as a part of foreplay, but it wasn't. I was trying to find out whether he had lice too. I saw nothing, so we engaged in sex. I did not allow any of the other guys to have sex with me any more. But Pastor, it could be one of these other guys who gave me lice. My doctor questioned me about my boyfriend. He asked me if I was sure I never had sex with any other man and I told him no. So he said that I should examine myself very often, especially after having sex with my boyfriend. You could imagine how bare I was when I went back to see the doctor. It was not difficult for the doctor to see everything.

Since that time that I suffered from 'crabs', I don't grow much hair around my pubic area.

Recently, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to play the same game that we played by examining each other and I said no, but I never gave him a reason why. Sometimes I feel like I should ask my boyfriend whether or not he is having sexual relations with other women. But if I do, he may want to ask me if I am having sex with other guys and I may just open a Pandora's box. To all my good friends, I would say, please try to be careful, because little things like these that I have experienced can cause big problems and cause you to spend lots of money at the doctor and paying for prescription.

G.M.

Dear G.M.,

You cannot be sure from whom you contracted pubic lice. You give the impression that you are a good girl but I am unable to believe that is true.

If you were such a good girl, how did you allow two other men to have sex with you? As I see it, you have been fooling yourself that you are good. Some may say that good girls do take chances. Well, you know now that what you have done is not a good chance to take. I will go further in saying that I don't believe that all these guys used the condom. I may be wrong but I don't believe so. You know now that you have to be very careful going forward. I am not here to condemn you at all.

You are wiser today than you were before you had sex with these other men and before you lied to the doctor that you didn't have sex with anyone else but your boyfriend.

The doctor knew you were lying or trying to protect your boyfriend. So be very careful. I wish you well.

Pastor