I think I’m addicted to sex

August 14, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am a 17-years-old girl and I think I'm addicted to sex. At the tender age of 13, I lost my virginity to a family friend who raped me. He is now in jail, but only on the charge of having sex with a minor. He got only three years. Sometimes I regret taking the matter to court because I feel like the justice system has failed me.

After this incident, I started having sex a lot, and throughout high school I was sexually involved with 12 guys, and I'm now a first-year student in college. This new environment is kind of overwhelming for me because whenever I see a guy, all I can think about is having sex with him.

However, so far I've been able to control my urges, but I worry that I might never be a good girlfriend or even a good wife because I will always have urges to cheat.

Pastor, I really need your advice because I can't live like this, and I'm hurting so badly.

Sex Fanatic

Dear Sex Fanatic,

First of all, I want to let you know that I regret hearing that you were raped. You say that you regret that the man who raped you was charged and sentenced to prison for having sex with a minor. I wouldn't attempt to try your case except to say that every rape should be reported. And the guilty should be sentenced to prison.


You have a big concern because you believe that you are addicted to sex and you have had sexual intercourse with many guys during high school. You find yourself not being able to control your sexual urges, but so far in college, you have been doing fairly well. At least, you should tell yourself that you will always see handsome guys, but you will have to learn not to throw yourself at them or give them the impression that you want to go to bed with them.

Already, you have regretted being promiscuous in high school. You cannot change what has happened, but you can be determined to be different while at college.

You will always have choices. You must choose the type of life you want to live while at college. You can be nice to fellows, be very sociable, but that does not mean that you have to allow yourself to be emotionally, physically or sexually in contact with them.

Remember that no one has ever died from not having sexual intercourse. You should always remember that the purpose for your going to college is not to play around or have different sex partners. It is to study and do well, and to be able to graduate and be proud of your achievements; and to make your parents very proud of you.

Consider what has taken place in the past as mistakes; but they are not mistakes that should be repeated. I will be praying for you, and I hope that you will pray every day and ask God to help you. So, read your Bible, pray and go to church. And if you find that from time to time you need professional help, make an appointment to see a family counsellor.


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