Dating for two years and still no sex

December 03, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am a 22 year old man and my girlfriend is 19 years old. From the first time I met her, I have been giving her money. She lives in a depressed area and I am afraid to go where she lives. She goes home early. But I always keep her money for her; I don't spend it. My brother told me that I should not go to the area where she lives. He is a soldier and he knows that the area is bad. She is always promising to give me some sex, but I can't get it. I am thinking about leaving her for another girl who I met at my workplace.

This girl at my workplace once asked me if I had a girlfriend and I told her yes. And she said, well, if you have a girlfriend, you should not be hard up. I know she likes me. She is not as pretty as my girlfriend. And the girl at my workplace bleaches her skin. But my girlfriend doesn't bleach although she lives in the ghetto. We have been together for two years and we have never had sex. She is only promising me. I told her that she should come to where I live when I get my day off. She came once and told me that she was seeing her menses, so nothing happened. Do you think this girl is fooling me? Should I stop giving her my money?


Dear K.L.,

I would encourage you to continue the relationship that you are having with your girlfriend. It does not appear to me that she is trying to trick you. It is not wise for her to be out late, away from the area in which she lives. You should know that she is not tricking you. But if you are only friendly with her to have sex with her, that is not a good motive to be her friend. You should be with her because you genuinely love her. So, stick with your girlfriend and the time may come when both of you will be together and get married.

You are not in love with the girl at your workplace, she is in love with you. And you might be giving up a young woman who lives in the ghetto who is truly wife material and who would make you happy for life. Your co-worker would make you feel good for a few moments, but that is not what you should aim for. You want a good, solid woman in your life.

Encourage your girlfriend to go back to school and to become a professional and you too should consider going back to school. Don't leave her for a few moments of fun. I wish you well.


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