My sister doesn’t care that she’s getting bun

April 06, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I always listen to your shows at night and I have been reading your column for years. I thank you for your advice on the many subjects that you take on. I can say that I grew up reading your column. I got pregnant when I was 21 and I am now 25. I should not have got pregnant because my boyfriend knew that if he did not have a condom, he should not even have come near to me. But he had condoms with him. He kept the condoms in his wallet and had the wallet in his car. So while we were having sex, the condom broke.

The heat affected the condom. He didn't know that he should not have kept them in the car. So although I was angry I did not hold that against him. He is such a wonderful man. He supported me through college and we love our daughter. My boyfriend is five years older than I am. He has a business so I am helping him in his business. I think that is what I am going to do for another few years until my boyfriend's business is on a firm foundation.


I am only interested in having one more child but he wants us to have three more. We cannot afford to have four children. Plus, children are difficult to maintain. Right now where we are living costs $40,000 for two rooms with its own conveniences. I would like us to have our own place and use that $40,000 that we are giving the landlord to pay mortgage.

We recently bought ourselves a car so we are repaying that loan. My older sister is married and she says that I am complaining too much. Her husband is earning much more than what my boyfriend does and he is not bringing home much. He has a girlfriend and my sister knows her but she does not fuss with him over her, because it is his girlfriend who assists him with his bills every month. I ask her how she can live like that. She says in these modern days a woman must learn how to share.

He gets at least $10,000 every month from this woman to help him out with his bills, and when his car is done, he drives her car. I told her she should leave him but she is not prepared to do so. She said she prefers to give him bun than leave him. My boyfriend and I would love to come and see you. Please tell us when it is convenient.


Dear B.L.,

I am glad that you are helping you child's father in his business and I hope that the business will do well and that the both of you will keep your minds on your goals. Your number one goal is to purchase or build a home. Make sure you pay your NHT and other bills. Your rent is high but as you know, if a couple wants to be comfortable they have to be willing to pay rent, which can be very costly. A $40,000 two-bedroom place sounds reasonable.

I think your sister is crazy. She should not be encouraging her husband to take other women's money to support himself. They should learn to be satisfied with what they earn. You may not like what I am about to say but I am going to say it anyway. Your sister and her husband are not good people.


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