In love with a man 15 years my junior

April 06, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 38 years old and I am a Christian. I have never been married but I have had relationships. I do not have children. I thought I would have been married by now but marriage hasn't come my way at all. The last guy who told me that he loved me took me to the brink of marriage but he eventually left me for another woman. He even bought me an engagement ring. He got me all excited. He took me to the store and had me choose the ring. I chose the one I really loved and all the girls at my workplace were happy for me. Then my boyfriend started to call me less and less. I couldn't understand what was going on. I kept asking him if he was no longer interested in me and what I had done to upset him.

We planned a date for our wedding but he changed the date. I wanted a beach wedding but he wanted a church wedding. Finally, I heard that he was interested in another woman so I told him to go his way. It took me a while to get over him but now the only time I remember him is when I hear his name on the radio or when someone who knew we were going together asks me for him.

I am writing you about another guy that I have met. This guy is 23 years old so he is much younger that I am. I know that I am much older than he is but I have got myself in trouble with him already because I have been having sex with him. He looks much older than his age. I know I should be controlling myself but he is a bodybuilder and he is muscular and strong and he has good physique. I could not believe he was so young. The age difference is wide but nobody knows unless I tell them how old he is. Do you think I should make the age difference bother me?


Dear Z.R.,

Indeed, this man is much younger than you are but what is important here is both of you love each other. If he respects you and you respect him then the relationship can work. Your first boyfriend who took you to the store and bought you the engagement ring did not respect you. He deceived you. But this young man does not seem to want to deceive you. Love and respect goes a far way in a relationship, and if this young man loves you and respects you, the relationship can work.


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