New boyfriend won’t quit smoking

Dear Pastor,

I am a 40-year-old widow and I have started dating again. I have met a very responsible man who is in the church like me, but he smokes. I told him I don't like men who smoke. He told me he would try to stop to please me but he has not done so. I don't want to lose him. Do you think I should continue to see him? I am not talking about smoking ganja. He smokes cigarettes. My former husband did not smoke, but he used to drink occasionally. I suppose you can't get a man who is perfect. What do you think about this new relationship? I do enjoy his company and I don't want to lose him at all. Please withhold my initials.

Initials withheld

Dear Anonymous,

I would say to you continue to date this man. If smoking is the only fault you have with him, you are a very fortunate person. I am not saying smoking is a very good habit because it is not. You should not rush this man or demand he stop smoking. You should bear in mind that it may not be difficult for him to find a woman who will tolerate his smoking and you would have lost a good man. So while you may want to have a man who is a non-smoker in your life, go easy and don't harass him. He is not committing a crime. Smoking is hazardous to one's health and eventually this man will come to see it is better that he doesn't smoke. Don't push him away from you because of that.

Pastor