I keep thinking of my late husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and I was married but my husband and I did not last for very long. He was the second man in my life but he died in an accident abroad.

It took me a long time to get over him or to accept the fact that he is dead but, with the help of my minister at church and other good people in my life, I have come around. For the last year or so, I have been in a relationship. This guy I am with is a good man. It took me about six months before I agreed to go to bed with him. He did not force me. I was always talking to him about my late husband and he did not stop me either. My husband was well endowed and he was tall. This guy is shorter and I find myself comparing him to my husband. My friends keep telling me that what I am doing is wrong. But what he lacks in some areas, he makes up for in the other areas. My husband and I did not have children but this man has two and they call me Auntie. He takes them to spend time with us but they don't sleep here. He wants to marry me but I am not ready.

How long should I wait?

E.W.

Dear E.W.,

I am sorry to hear about the passing of your first husband, but you are a fortunate person to have met another good man, and I trust that everything will go well with this relationship. You seem to love him and he loves you. It is wrong to compare these men with each other. This man has his own good qualities and his personality is different. You have got to know him and you enjoy everything about him. Don't embarrass him by telling him that he is not good enough for you. Learn to take good care of him and he will take good care of you. You do not have to be in a hurry to get married to him. Both of you should seek the help of a family counsellor when you feel the time is right for both of you to get married. I wish both of you well.