My spouse got another woman pregnant

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. The first time I was engaged and was about to be married. Now I am married and I have two children but the relationship with my husband is not going well. He got a job in a security firm and he loves to do the night shift so he is hardly at home in the nights. I really thought that he was working but I became suspicious. How can a man work for so many days straight without getting a night off? Then he told me that sometimes he has to fill in for other workers. I decided to check it out for myself. I called the company and one of the guys who answered the phone became my friend. He told me not to call his name. He said that what my husband was telling me was not true. My husband has his woman and when he is not at home with me, he is home with her and now she is pregnant. He also gave me the girl's name. I visited the girl's house and saw her. She is a young girl. I did not talk to her because I did not want her to know who I was. I spoke to people in the community and they knew my husband well. When my husband came home, I told him everything I heard and he cursed me. This girl, I was told, was attending school when he got her pregnant. He is not showing any form of remorse. Some of my people are away and I have a visa and I am not going to stay here and suffer.

CONTROL

I am going to leave this man and take my children with me. I have to be spending so much on the children and helping to pay the bills and this man refuses to control his thing in his pants.

Pastor, I am a very attractive girl and I have never given him bun. I do not believe in that but I have been thinking about doing so. How can I have a man who can hardly provide for the home financially and now supporting a young babymother? It cannot work, Pastor. This girl is pregnant for him and cannot even help herself. She is a nice-looking girl but she should go and look a man for herself. My husband thinks I am joking when I told him I was going to leave him. I told my people what my husband has done and they are shocked to know that another girl is pregnant by him. So please advise us.

N.G.

Dear N.G.,

Your husband should have known that his lies would have caught up with him. There is no way a man who does security work can continue to be out every night and giving his wife the impression that he is at work. She must become suspicious. So your husband has given away himself, and you said he is not even remorseful and wants you to accept what he has done as the norm. One of these days after the child is born, he might tell you to accept the child because he would want the child to come home and live with him. If it comes to that, I do not know what you would do. I hope that you are careful with the way you spend your money and I hope you are taking good care of yourself. With such a husband, you have to prepare for the worst. I suggest you discuss with your husband the possibility of both of you going for counselling. I hope he agrees to do so. I wish both of you well.

Pastor