Pregnant for a cheater

Dear Pastor,

I have a boyfriend. We have been in this relationship for four years. I am now pregnant. I thought he would be happy but he is sad. I was trying to understand what is going on but now everything is being revealed to me. While this man and I have been living together, he had another girl who is much younger than I am, who is also pregnant and she lives with her parents in St Thomas. This girl contacted me through her friend and told me that no matter what I said or did, she will never leave him. I was surprised and spoke to my boyfriend about it. He said he knows the girl but he is not sure that the child she is carrying is his. He also says that I should remember what people in St Thomas are noted for so I should not contact this girl or have anything to do with her. He said he only had sex with the girl one time.

Every day I am crying because four years ago I was in a stable relationship and I broke up with the guy and got involved with this man. The other guy had promised to marry me. He is a soldier and since we broke up, he got married and has fathered a child. I know I made a big mistake by leaving him. My present boyfriend is behaving as if he does not care. I don't know what to do.

S.G.

Dear S.G.,

I can imagine that this man with whom you are living made you promises of a better life with him. You did not have a bad relationship with the soldier but this guy might have promised you much more than what the soldier offe red, so you went for his lies. You gave yourself to him. You did not even protect yourself from pregnancy. Now here you are, very much pregnant and another woman is pregnant by your man. And he does not even want you to discuss the matter with him. He is instead warning you about St Thomas people. What I know of St Thomas people is that they are lovely people. This man is no good. You should have your baby and if he does not change his attitude towards you and support his child, you may have to consider moving on. You did not give your age but if this man continues to ill-treat you, he would meet his 'Waterloo'.

Pastor