Is masturbating wrong, Pastor?

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 40s and my friends tell me how lovely I look. I only have one child and I keep fit. My child's father is 51. He and his son have a good relationship but I am done with him.

I have my own apartment and after my son is finished with his first degree at university, I plan to leave Jamaica. My son's father is a medical doctor and he is already living abroad. I would like to have another child but my son says I should not get married again. Every night he sleeps with me and sometimes I have to run him out of my bed.

I privately masturbate when my son is sleeping. He has his own bedroom. We live in a two-bedroom apartment. I love to engage in self-pleasure. Some people say it is sin to do. What do you say?

N.O.

Dear N.O.,

You seem to have done very well. You have one son whose father has supported him very well and you do not have any major issue. You are in fairly good health and you are setting plans for the future. Of course, you want to get married and you want to have another child but time is running away from you, so you might as well be thankful for the one son you presently have.

I want you to remember that it is natural for children, especially boys, to discourage their parents, especially their mothers, from getting married or finding a man. These sons mean well. They don't want men to abuse their mothers so they often tell their mothers that they should remain in the state in which they have found themselves and not seek to get married because they can take care of them. However, these sons do not understand that their mothers have emotional, physical and psychological needs that the mothers understand can be fulfilled by men they might love. I could only encourage you to plan intelligently as you face the future.

Concerning masturbation, or self-pleasure as you call it, I am not here to judge you. As your son grows older he may get to understand that you have certain needs that he cannot fulfil.

Even in this matter of masturbation, be careful when you are engaging in such practice if your son is not aware of what you are doing. You would not want him to catch you during that act. The only thing that I can say about masturbation right now is that different counsellors have different opinions. Some say that it is wrong and some do not think that it is. I wish you well, my dear.

Pastor