My mother is the worst

October 22, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old. My mother has always been abusive towards me in everything I did. Though she always gave me hugs and kisses, she would always try to lower my confidence.

I wasn't a bright child, but if family members said that to me, she would always discourage them from saying so.

She would give me the worst beating if I didn't understand my homework. Anything I did that was wrong, she would strike out at me.

My younger brothers were always throwing stuff and hitting me in the head or beating me with wire and belt buckles. The only thing I ever saw my mother do was beat them with the belt.

I became pregnant in 2018. I was in my first year of college, but that was not the only thing that happened that year. She met the guy who got me pregnant.

Then another man came to do some work for my mother on the house. We didn't know anything about him. He took a liking to my mother and he used to buy her items.

He handed me $10,000. I asked myself, why did he give me all that cash? But, at the same time, my mother did not have any feelings for him.

My grandaunt persuaded my mother to talk to him because they thought that he had money. He even moved in with us.

In a month's time, he wanted to start a business with my mother. Later in the month, I found out I was pregnant. My mother wanted me to abort the pregnancy but I said no.

My mother insisted that I do the abortion because she wanted me to have a better life. One Sunday, she came to me and asked me what I was going to do and I told her that I was going to keep the pregnancy. She encouraged me to go ahead with the abortion because it would be a big shame in the church to see me pregnant. She handed me the money to do the abortion.

My boyfriend insisted that I should not, but I went and did it. The abortion devastated me and I was always crying. I failed most of my courses, but I passed enough to continue college.

I eventually stopped going to college and started working with my mother in the business that she started with this man.

He used indecent language to me and I was shocked. He bragged about the millions he had. He even tried to engage me in a fight.

He came into my room and was fighting me while my mother was right there, and she did nothing. I went to the US, but I am back. I am pregnant again.

A.B.

Dear A.B.,

You are not very careful. You come from a home where your mother was abusive to you. You said that you were not very bright, but you did well enough to get into college. Unfortunately, you got pregnant and your mother encouraged you to do an abortion. Your mother didn't set any good example, because she got involved with a man who came to work on her house and it didn't take very long for him and her to become lovers.

Although she confessed to a relative that she didn't love him, she became involved with him because she believed that he had money; shame on her.

It is unfortunate that you did not finish college. You should not be living in the same house with this man. At your age, you should not be subjecting yourself to this man's abuse.

You should try your best to find another place to live. Your mother should not allow this man to come into her house and beat you.

She is to stand up for you. She allowed this man to abuse you because she could get a few dollars from him.

How could you allow your boyfriend to get you pregnant again? I am assuming that he is responsible for your second pregnancy. You should get out of this house and get yourself a job as soon as you can. Your boyfriend should do his best to find a place for you to live.

Pastor

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