Mom says boyfriend is too poor for me

August 15, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I have never been the type to ask for advice on my problems. I'm usually able to handle things on my own. However, I've now found myself in a situation and I don't know where to turn.

I am 18 years old and living with my babyfather. We have been together for three years now, but I have only been living here for a year. He is a very sweet guy and he has never mistreated or neglected me.

My mother had no issue with me being with him until she found out that I was pregnant. After she found out, she started to show her true feelings towards him. She is saying that he is too poor and worthless to take care of me and our coming child. She has even been to a so-called obeah man with my grandmother to try and 'get rid' of us and the baby. When that did not work, she said the only way she will help is if I come back home and live by their rules.

Pastor, my grandmother wants me to be with an old rich man in order to bring money into her hands, but I do not see myself doing so. I believe that you must only be with someone you love and intend to marry. My boyfriend doesn't want to accept any help from them, and I agree with him. Am I wrong about that? They only dislike him because he is not rich and has no money to give them. The money he makes from work is to buy baby stuff and food for us to eat, but my family does not think that counts.

I love this man, Pastor, and my family has shunned me for it. I refuse to leave him based on their shallow reasons. He wants to be here for his baby and that is commendable to me. Please, help me, Pastor. I eagerly await your reply.

Abandoned

Dear Abandoned,

I would suggest that you continue the relationship that you have been having with this young man who has now impregnated you. You said that your parents think that he is too poor to be a part of the family. But you have chosen him to be your man; therefore, I suggest that you continue to be respectful to your parents and grandmother, etc.

But, remain true to your man. And if, indeed, you are speaking the truth about your grandmother and mother seeking the help of an obeah man to destroy your relationship, they should pray that God will have mercy on their soul. That kind of behaviour should draw this young man and yourself closer together.

Pastor

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