Finding Your Soulmate


March 22, 2016

So guys and gals, we continue looking at the possibilities and potentials of the right spouse.

I reiterate, you definitely need to know what you are looking for in a man or woman of your dreams. Here then are some qualities I think you should be looking for to have a healthy relationship.

Look for common values, you don't want to be short-changing your standards after you have worked so hard to maintain them. Also of importance is a willingness to forgive and be forgiven. Unforgiveness holds you captive murdering the ability to be challenged and confronted without defensiveness.

Ask yourself, why do I want this relationship? To lose myself or to find myself? To make up for what I lost earlier or to keep me so excited so I won't be depressed and boost my sagging self-esteem? To be a temporary fix until I decide I want something better or for security, someone to take care of me? Do I just want to show my friends that I can get a man or a woman and get my parents off my back? Know what is important to you.

Letting it go

Ok, so this is not your first relationship and you are still huffing over the last one. However, you must learn to rise above past mistakes. You are not doomed to an endless series of losers because the last one never worked out. Matter of fact, you are halfway to Mr or Ms Right by seeing what you have done wrong in the past. You cannot correct something that you do not realise was stupid.

So congratulations if you are starting to develop humility by acknowledging your responsibility which is a good trait. Just don't let it turn into self-pity and low self-esteem. We all fail and make mistakes and we all have things we remember with regret, so I urge you to let it go.

Expect a human being, not someone perfect, remember no one is going to be everything you have ever dreamt of. Ladies, you already know that you are not Ms Perfect. Understand that he will make mistakes, too, so relax a little and don't be too picky. Simply allow for human frailty. Be patient; as you may have heard, Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what appeals to you and why. You may make a few friends, and even break a heart or two. You may get hurt, but keep at it. There are good men and women out there. You simply need to know where to look.

If you are looking for someone with a sense of humour, keep in mind that just because a person has purpose and diligence in their character doesn't mean he or she cannot laugh and have fun. The ability to laugh at oneself and with others is crucial for a good mental outlook.

If a person always takes himself or herself too seriously, they will be difficult to live with. You need someone who can laugh at your antics and can relax and participate with others in activities that delight and refresh the soul. If you can take a joke as well as tell one, and the humor is never at someone else's expense negatively, then clever and witty is definitely a plus.

Other Carla Dunbar Stories