Religion dividing Christian couple

October 06, 2015
The Holy Bible

Dear Rev,

My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years and we love each other endlessly. The thing Rev is that we disagree when it comes to church and spirituality. When we just got married, we were not Christians, now our eyes have been opened to the existence of a higher power. I am a member of an apostolic church and he is a member of a Church of God. It was never planned like this but he does not like the teachings or atmosphere at my church as a result all we do is argue about which doctrine is correct and this is breaking us. Sometimes we do not even speak to each other. What can we do to rectify the situation?

Committed Wife

Dear Committed Wife,

I am happy that you are both Christians and a good reading of 1 Corinthians 7: should help you both to understand the place of religion in your marriage. This instruction teaches you that it is each other that holds first place to God in your marriage not your place of worship; that is peripheral. God intended marriage to bring you two together not tear you a part and being a follower of Christ should not bring about divisiveness because there is only one Lord and Father of all. It really would be helpful in the long run for both of you to be at peace worshipping at one place but if this is not to be then don't argue with your husband about this; trying to prove that you are right will only cause more rift between you both. I suggest that you pray quietly about this and allow God to help you to overcome the devil of religiosity. You may just find that neither of you are wrong.


Dear Rev,

I am writing to let you know what a great work you are doing preserving the institution of marriage. With so many marriages in a rut especially in our churches today, it is a blessing to have you still encouraging and finding solutions to problems. I salute you Reverend Dunbar. You have helped my marriage, we were growing apart and I can proudly say that you have transformed our lives and since working with you, we are now closer than ever before. Big up!!!


Dear J

Thanks much for your appreciation and commendations. May your love and devotion never wane.


Worried my boyfriend will get back with his ex

Hi Rev,

In the past two of my Ex-boyfriends got back with their Exes. Now I am dating and my boyfriend is close with his Ex. I am a bit worried. Should I trust him? I am very weary as I believe I often judge him by my past experience.

Ex Out

Dear Ex Out,

I am sorry to hear about your past experiences, but I see they have helped you to be guarded against any such repetitions. Trust eroded has to take time to be rebuilt, so take your time to ascertain clarity of commitment before you proceed with another relationship. On the other hand however, these past relationships are by no means to be used to scapegoat your current boyfriend and your insecurities may ruin your ability to see or think clearly. Why not share some of your concerns with him and see how he handles it. If he truly cares, then he should be able to understand that your cause for concerns are justifiable; he may very well help to alleviate them with some transparency with regards to his ex. Don't be afraid of your fears, if they are legitimate voice them and see what happens. If he moves to alleviate them then you have a good hearted guy this time.

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